Insomnia, My Best Habit

About a week ago I had this great plan, a total success lightbulb. I was going to go to bed early every night, and wake up at 4 am every day to write. I love mornings. I loved this idea because I love mornings and I love writing, and what could go wrong? There is only one tiny problem with any sleep plan to which I commit myself. I have terrible, totally unpredictable, stupid stupid stupid insomnia. I have read so much about sleep and sleep patterns and cycles and habits, because sleep hates me. Still, I thought I would employ all of these tips and tricks and awesome sleep knowledge to make myself become the 4 am writer that I dream of being.

So, why is it, that in the past week, I have spent the majority of my best writing time between the hours of midnight and 4 am? What is that about? Why am I waking up in the middle of the night with crazy amounts of creative energy, dying to write? The hard part is the right now part. This is the part where I debate going back to sleep before my 5-year-old wakes up and redirects all of my energy toward making things happen today. I know that I can sleep once she is safely at school in the care of competent providers, but I was supposed to do things today. I was supposed to handle things like making sure there is food, and a shelter that doesn't smell funny. This is why the plan is to be a 4 am writer, so I can still be a functional (tired, but functional) human being throughout the day.

After spending 3 hours writing in the middle of the night, I am not good for much other than sleep and binge-watching incredibly addictive television shows. Gross. So, so satisfying after a sleepless night, but gross because now I am an adult and my time is limited, and that just doesn't work for me.

The good news is, I am writing every day night. So, at least there is some good news. The bad news, is that I am screwed. I can either A. Be the binge-watcher day-sleeper that my body wants me to be. or B. Totally ignore the fact that I am exhausted and work through it, thus leading to a full body breakdown in the next month or so (trust me, this is so not my first rodeo).

So here I sit, wishing that I had slept once again, sure that this can only end poorly.

NaNoWriMo - The Start

I am such a novice. How did I manage to be totally green at thirty years old? I suppose it is a good thing really. A little nugget of youth that I get to have. Not that I am saying that I am old, because I am not one of those people who thinks that life has now ended because my body no longer wants me to behave like it is still sixteen. I just think that now that I have a matured impulse control and the need to sleep that I sometimes miss out on some of life's best learning opportunities. For me, it is the ability and willingness to continue to learn that keeps us young.

So, I am green. So green. This is my first NaNoWriMo. I am like a puppy about it; all wiggles and panting and tail-wagging. I also know that there will be a bump (there is always a bump) that will knock the puppy in me down enough for the cynic to chime in. It is going to be a battle. I just want to come out at the end of it with 50,000 words.

I am putting aside the funfic. I have been staring down the fact that writing the light and flippant fun novel takes as much work as writing one where the stakes are higher. Sure, in theory it requires less emotional investment, but I am beginning to wonder whether I am just not cut out for light investment. So, now I am writing a book that came to me in dream. Like a weirdo. Like a totally weird weirdo. It is really satisfying, though, to write something that feels like it is all mine. Whatever. All I know is that I do not feel quite as inclined to distract myself, and that probably means I am on a better path. Or that I am a puppy, and right now, this new and shiny work is its own wonderful distraction.