Insomnia, My Best Habit

About a week ago I had this great plan, a total success lightbulb. I was going to go to bed early every night, and wake up at 4 am every day to write. I love mornings. I loved this idea because I love mornings and I love writing, and what could go wrong? There is only one tiny problem with any sleep plan to which I commit myself. I have terrible, totally unpredictable, stupid stupid stupid insomnia. I have read so much about sleep and sleep patterns and cycles and habits, because sleep hates me. Still, I thought I would employ all of these tips and tricks and awesome sleep knowledge to make myself become the 4 am writer that I dream of being.

So, why is it, that in the past week, I have spent the majority of my best writing time between the hours of midnight and 4 am? What is that about? Why am I waking up in the middle of the night with crazy amounts of creative energy, dying to write? The hard part is the right now part. This is the part where I debate going back to sleep before my 5-year-old wakes up and redirects all of my energy toward making things happen today. I know that I can sleep once she is safely at school in the care of competent providers, but I was supposed to do things today. I was supposed to handle things like making sure there is food, and a shelter that doesn't smell funny. This is why the plan is to be a 4 am writer, so I can still be a functional (tired, but functional) human being throughout the day.

After spending 3 hours writing in the middle of the night, I am not good for much other than sleep and binge-watching incredibly addictive television shows. Gross. So, so satisfying after a sleepless night, but gross because now I am an adult and my time is limited, and that just doesn't work for me.

The good news is, I am writing every day night. So, at least there is some good news. The bad news, is that I am screwed. I can either A. Be the binge-watcher day-sleeper that my body wants me to be. or B. Totally ignore the fact that I am exhausted and work through it, thus leading to a full body breakdown in the next month or so (trust me, this is so not my first rodeo).

So here I sit, wishing that I had slept once again, sure that this can only end poorly.